Faithful and Steadfast: Coping with Parental Failures

"Know that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps steadfast love with those who love Him." (Deut 7:9)

Bright pink bougainvillea petals, giant creme colored hydrangea blossoms and a colorful vegetable garden often blessed me with peace of mind.  This was my peaceful backyard sanctuary. But on this day, as I paced barefoot on the lush grass, peace was nowhere to be found. 

I was 8 months pregnant with my first born and up until this moment I was elated. But then the thought of raising a baby with abundant love and nurture sent me into a panic. I questioned if I would be capable of giving her the love that she needed to thrive in this world. I thought of if I would fail her and cause irreparable damage. As I swirled deeper into a negative spiral, another thought popped in my head. It was God telling me, "You may fail her, but I never will."

This was exactly the peace that I needed. The unnecessary anxiety was replaced with immense joy at the truth that God is a good God. That He is faithful and steadfast. He loves those who love Him. At that point, I realized that one of my main goals was to teach my child about the unfailing love of God. 

Now, with 3 kids living under my roof that I care for 24/7.  I realize that there will be moments when I fail. These failures can be detrimental. I study child development, so I realize that long-term, parental failures can lead to devastating results for children when they become adults. I try not to be that parent. However, what gives me hope is that I have a God who can make up for all of my shortcomings. I know, that when I come to the feet of the cross, God hears my prayers and loves my children more than I do. God is faithful. If I can be resilient despite my parents mistakes or if I can remember their love for me despite those mistakes, then God can give my kids the same resilience. I trust that he will. 

Parents fail, yet because of God, I have hope, faith, and trust that all will be well. He will hold my children close to Him as they seek after Him. He will be there for them as they invite Him into their lives. He will show up for them because He is faithful. He'll show up because of our prayers for them, just as my parents prayers upheld me.  

I live in a new place, with a new backyard. But now I have a front yard sanctuary where I spend time to reflect on God's goodness. I am thankful for who He is.  He will never fail me. He will never fail my children even if I do.  And for that, I am thankful. 

"When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me." (Psalms 27:10)