To Sass or not to Sass?

 

Every parent desires their child to be kind, respectful and to have a generally good character. The prime time to nail this is….as soon as they are born! But typically during their early years where they are more impressionable. Well, even if you were not as intentional about helping your kids form a good character (for whatever reason) here are some simple things that I do, that will help boost a child’s respect and kindness. 

 

One, they must address me as ma’am. I don’t live in the South, so this is not a typical phrase that you’ll hear in where I live. This simple requirement alone increases the respect factor immensely. 

 

Two, do not let them get away with any hint of minor or major disrespect.  This is where sometimes I make the mistake of allowing my kids to talk rudely even if it’s minor.  But ultimately phrases like “That didn’t sound respectful please try again.” or You are not to speak in that tone.” Or “How about we go to the room until your attitude changes”. These all help. Today, I sent a child to the room, they came out with a better attitude and an apology. I made a joke, she laughed and it was over. The offense was not major, but I wanted to make a clear statement that sassin’ is not acceptable behavior in this house.

 

Three, present yourself as respectable and you will receive respect. Losing control, yelling, screaming, acting a fool, can sometimes lead to a loss of respect your child has for you. This is the opposite effect you want to have. I’m not saying that it’s always wrong to be intense with our kids when necessary.  However, when we exhibit a down right expression of loss of self-control, it can damage the emotional connection and the respect built up between parent and child.  

     

So these are the tools I practiced today and I must say, that for the most part, all went well. They addressed me appropriately and that set the tone. I did not allow an instance of even minor sassiness to go unnoticed, whether they were serious on joking. Lastly, I tried my best not to fly off the handle, but spoke firm and deliberate instead. Overall, I can say that today was a win!

Sleep: It's a Good Thing

    It's day 2 of this writing Challenge. I certainly did not start out thinking I would be cataloguing this online. But here we go. Accountability is a good thing. So a writer doesn't write in a vacuum. There is usually a passion behind why someone writes. Before Gloria Steinem became known as a feminist activist, she wrote for various publications on subjects that interested her. It just so happens that feminism was what she became most known for. For me, I am interested in countless topics. Education, parenting, human trafficking, habit formation, child development, health, and most recently marine life, namely the colossal squid. However, the topic that is immediately pressing right now is sleep.  

    I'm going to share something that those close to me may already know.  I am addicted to late nights. Seriously, it is the time of day where I can take my time, read, take a long shower, all undisturbed. I know I’m not alone in this and I’m sure there are others who can corroborate with the bliss of this time. Gretchin Rubin in her book, Better than Before, used the term “Revenge sleep” to describe that feeling of alone time that people take and night because they don’t have time to themselves. As nice as it is, I can tell that it is now taking a toll on my health. Going to bed close to midnight and waking up and 6 for several days in a row is bound to take some kind of effect. So what are some practical ways or creative ideas that have helped me to go to bed early? I’ll share what has worked for me in the past. 

Good days Work Done     

 One thing that has helped is knowing that I’ve got a good days work of work in. That is, the kitchen is clean, there are no more chores to do in the evening, or I’ve done my most important work in the day. Going to bed with a clean kitchen, clean living room, and a clear conscience knowing that I did my best, puts me in a position where I won’t have to stay up too long to complete those tasks. 

Follow Set Routine 

 Another thing that has helped is to follow a short but predictable evening routine. I know this from research and from experience that this works. The challenge with this is that I typically have too many items on my list. So the most important is praying, and writing down a list of things to do in the morning. If I can't manage a clear to do list, a general "brain dump" works well too. A brain dump is listing everything that needs to be done or concerns you have. Putting it on paper gets it out of your mind. Of course making sure I shower for a shorter time also gets me in bed earlier. (long showers are a guilty pleasure) Along with following a routine, having a set bedtime will ensure that I'm doing my routine in a timely manner. Right now my bedtime is between 10 and 11. Each week, I'll try to shave a few minutes off.

Express Gratitude

 Lastly, a generally grateful attitude can really soothe a worried mind. This piece is crucial because a really huge factor in me going to sleep late is worry. My mind races so fast and I know there are things I may have forgotten to do, or anxiety associated with making sure the house runs smoothly the next day, or myriad of other worries. When I lay down on the bed and just give thanks to God and trust that I did my best, this helps. 

    Overall, I’m very motivated to do my best to get to bed earlier. I do have a health coach that I started meeting with a few weeks back, so this extra accountability really helps. It’s been far too many days where it takes all of my willpower to be pleasant when I'm actually feeling groggy and on edge. I trust that I can do what it takes for my health's sake. I value health and wellness. If I am to take my values seriously, I need to put sleep right up there on the priority list. I have with it takes. I’m confident that this will get better. I'll just take one day at a time.

30 Day Writing Challenge- Let's Go!

    Today is September 1, 2022. The first day of the month and the ninth month of the year. Let me just share how much I love the beginning of a new month, new week, new day, and new year. For now, I'm loving that this is the beginning of a new month. I've been doing 30 day challenges each month for many years now. During that time, I've noticed that certain challenges are more successful than others. One challenge that has been very successful are writing challenges. So today, marks the first day of September and the first day of my journey to writing productivity. But why am I doing this writing challenge yet again anyways? I will share three reasons why. 

    First, it will make me more productive. How? Writing daily like this will make me more productive in that I will be able to master jotting down my ideas quickly. One of my rules in this challenge is to set a timer and write. Writing in this time constraint will force me to quickly articulate my ideas. Writing down ideas quickly leads me to the second reason why I want to do this challenge. 

    Secondly, doing this challenge will give me an actual forum to share my ideas. I come across so many concepts and principles from books, conversations, or my devotionals, that it just necessitates a opportunity to have an outlet share these things. One of my professors once shared that "writing is thinking". Popular nonfiction author and educator Willam Zinsser reminds us in his book "Writing to Learn" that writing helps us formulate the things that we know. So ultimately writing out my ideas will help me articulate them and further cement the ideas in my mind. 

Lastly, it will help me build the practice of writing daily. From what I've learned from successful writers, artists, musicians and other creatives, getting in a habit of working on their craft consistently and regularly is what keeps them doing what they're doing. Painters paint, vocalists sing, cartoonists draw, and writers write. If I am to take this passion gift/obsession seriously, I must have a grind of doing what I need to do to hone this craft. I'm excited about the journey. We'll see where this goes and I trust that all the work done in writing and articulating ideas will bear fruit. (articles written, posts posted, impact made, etc.) But this all begs the question, what is it that's worth writing about?